I am so mad at you right now. Till i dont feel like talking to you anymore. Just too much this time, too much to deal with. I have been telling myself that I am just overreacting, I have been trying to stand in your shoes convincing myself that you were just finding it difficult to address me as your partner because you didnt know how to overcome that awkwardity.

It only implies two things, you are ashamed of us(this is legit to most people but knowing you, i believe this wasnt the reason), which leads me to the second reason, you simply do not want him to know that you're with someone now, cause it will seems like you're moving on too easily, 會覺得對不起他. If thats really the case, I dont think I can go on with you. I just cant. Bei Wei is right, it is too much to deal with. And this voice in my head keep telling me I should leave you alone, deal with whatever that is left with you. I have a rush to tell you just stay where you are, dont even consider leaving US cause now he is there where you both belong. And I dont have to keep cracking my head and keep thinking about our future.

But again, it is my fault. You repeatedly asked me not to do these but i ignored and underestimated the impact that could crush me. So easily. Too easily.

看你對我愧疚的樣子， 我很想大聲說，這不是我要的交代，i guess we both do not want this. You'll lose yourself if you compromise, and i'll be so damaged if i compromise